5 Ways to save a hot dog up a girl’s… (word that also means cat)

At first I found it amusing, but then I realized ranking so high on this query might in fact be endangering innocent women. Women who are frantically trying to google a way out of their unfortunate situation only to end up on a totally irrelevant post about a woman and her kazoo.

Having at heart the safety of women, I decided to do an extensive research on the subject (mainly by googling “saving a hot dog up a girl’s pussy”) and present my groundbreaking work here.

Before starting, here are a few things people recommend you shouldn’t do:

Do not use a steak knife: In general people seem strongly opposed that idea, most likely because the ratio of atrocious pain to hot dog removal is not very appealing to the woman involved.

Do not push it further inside: In most cases, pushing it further in makes it harder to retrieve.

Do not ask your dad/uncle/grandfather to remove it: You’re probably better off just keeping the hot dog there than dealing with the emotional scarring of having a male sibling helping you out.

Now that you know what not to do, here are the proper way taking care of it:

1. Squat and Push Squat with your legs apart and push with your insides. 2. Use Chopsticks Chopsticks are longer and slimmer than regular fingers so you can reach deeper and have less of a chance to push it further. 3. Pour down lube Just add tons of lube so as to make it easier to go out, then you can try the squat and push method. 4. Jump up and down with legs apart Keep your legs as apart as possible while you jump and land on your heels to give that hot dog the maximum amount of force. 5. Go to hospital If everything else fails, go to the hospital, have it removed, then change your name and move away as far as possible.