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Yeah I know the list is pretty short – I’ll add some more later.

How the fuck can he swallow a dozen cigarettes

Smoking is bad for you… unless you can swallow a dozen cigarettes and make a show of it! I don’t usually gag while watching videos (except for that video with the two girls that only had one cup)… but every time I see him swallow those tissues and then some more smokes…. This guy is pure genius:

Apparently cigarettes cause cancer but I guess cancer is a small price to pay for perfecting such an awesome variety act!

While on the “smoking” question, I do have a issue at the moment. Next week my girlfriend and I are going to Cuba for a weeklong vacation. Cuba is well known for their cigars… and cigars are well known for getting better taster after being temprarily stored into a… bagina. If Bill Clinton did it, so should I!

On one hand, I am fortunate enough to have access to a bagina – my girlfriend has one. On the other hand, I am quite unsure about the proper way to pop the question.

Part of me thinks I should just be straight forward: “Can I store this cigar in your bagina for a moment?”. The other part of me thinks I should beat around the bush until she gives in: “Hey darling girlfriend of mine, love of my life pretty princess…. can I put this cigar in your hot hot bagina?”

4 Ways to Stream the Beijing 2008 Olympics Online (With screenshots)

Being restricted to a single channel (NBC) to watch the 2008 Beijing Olympics sucks. And in any case, I don’t have a TV at home and don’t care much about TV. My life is the Internet Tubes. There are several other ways you can watch the 2008 Beijing Olympics. So I basically compiled a list of 4 different ways you can watch the Olympics Online live. Most of these methods use peer2peer video streaming (p2ptv) which hasn’t quite caught on in the West, but that is vastly popular in the East.

The different ways to watch the 2008 Beijing Olympics live on the internet are listed below in order of preference.

First and foremost, some of these programs will try to display some Chinese characters, so if you are using non-Chinese Windows which I assume is the case, you might want to install support for Chinese. IF AND ONLY IF YOU WANT TO SEE CHINESE CHARACTERS! Im not going to go in detail about how to enable Chinese support but basically there are two steps:
1- Enable support for East Asian languages in the control panel (requires reboot)
2- Set the default language for non-Unicode applications to Chinese in the control panel (requires reboot)
Warning: Some of the installers below are in English, if you set the default language for non unicode applications to Chinese, the installers will switch to Chinese and you will be very confused!

Furthermore, if you try to scout around the Chinese channels, here are the characters you should be looking for:
Olympics:
Sports:

China:

Method 1: PPStream
Vote: 4/5 – Many channels, great interface, instant access to Beijing 2008 Olympics streams
PPStream official homepage: http://www.ppstream.com/

PPStream is also really cool, it features a large selection of Beijing 2008 Live Olympic Streams, most of them showing the Chinese athletes. It also has many other channels you can watch if you’re into Chinese TV.

Download page: http://dl.pconline.com.cn/html_2/1/109/id=10768&pn=0&linkPage=1.html
Direct download link: http://download.pplive.com/pplivesetup_1.9.46_pconlinegg.exe
Download link on page: (see screenshot)

ppstream-download-links-for-beijing-2008-olympics

Once you have downloaded PPStream, launch the installer. The installation process is in English (Chinglish actually);
1: Click Next, Next again
2: At the “Select additional tasks” screen, you might want to uncheck “Auto run PPStream when computer starts”, then click next
3: The program will install, click “Finish” and it will start

That’s it!

After running PPStream, it might ask you to install some type of software, I installed it on my computer and it didn’t cause any problem. I’m assuming it’s a codec to play the videos (or not?). PPStream is safe, it’s a very popular software, widely used in China.

Note: Some of the channels are “premium”, you can’t play them, try a different category if none in the current category play.
Note2: you can find more links to PPStream channels here:
Direct link to PPStream Beijing Olympics Live Streams: http://myp2p.eu click “Live Sport” and you will find the Beijing 2008 Olympics list of streams. Several of the streams are PPStreams.

Here’s a screenshot:

PPStream screenshot

Method 2: TVants
Vote: 3.5/5 – Not a great interface but allows access to Bejing Olympics streams.
Homepage: http://tvants.en.softonic.com/

TVants is very straight forward to install and to run, just download and install the traditional way

Download Page: http://tvants.en.softonic.com/download
Direct download link: http://download.tvants.com/pub/tvants/tvants1/win32/bin/TvantsSetup.EXE

After it’s installed, go to http://myp2p.eu click “Live Sport” and you will find the Beijing 2008 Olympics list of streams. Several of the streams are TVAnts streams. Just click on them and TVAnts will be launched and will start buffering.

Screenshot:

tvants screenshot

Method 3: PPlive
Vote: 3/5 – Not enough channels
Homepage: http://www.pplive.com/en/index.html

PPlive really rocks because you can use it to get several Chinese channels (including the sports channels and whatnot). You can also use it to watch films or random Chinese TV. I actually found several Chinese films on PPlive that had English subtitles.

Download page: http://www.pplive.com/en/download.html
Direct download link: http://download.pplive.com/pplivesetup_1.9.15.exe

Once you have downloaded PPLive, launch the installer,
1: Select English and click “OK”
2: Click Next, I Agree, Next
3: Uncheck the last box (the unreadable one), Install
4: Uncheck “Start PPLive when I start Windows” and click Finish
5: Click the unreadable button

That’s it!

You can browse the channels at the right under the “live” tab! If you hover over the channels, it will pop-up with a screenshot!
Note: Most channels are repeated films or tv episodes streaming. Live TV is under the “Live TV” channel. The Beijing 2008 Olympics might not always be playing. Try the Shanghai Sports Channel.

Screenshot:

pplive screenshot

Method 4: UUSee
Vote: 2.5/5 - Not enough channels
Homepage: http://www.uusee.com/

UUSee also has a gui allowing you to channel-surf, the only problem is that some of the channels are only available for the Chinese mainland. (CCTV1 and 2 for example) but several channels are open to the world, just try them out.

Direct download link: http://download1.uusee.com/UUSee_Setup_2008.exe
More links at: http://www.uusee.com/download/

Install instructions:
UUSee is all in Chinese so follow these instructions:
1: Launch the setup file and click the obvious “Next” button
2: Click the button with (I), do the same on the next screen.
3: It will extract the files and on the next screen, uncheck both checkboxes. Click Finish and run UUSee!

Note: Again you can find streams for UUSee on myp2p.tv

That’s it!

Screenshot:

uusee screenshot

Others:
You might want to investigate:
-CCTV box beta
-Feidian player
-tvkoo…

New contributor

Greetings,

I (used to) maintain both http://stuffilearnedonthecomputor.blogspot.com/ and http://newblogonstuff.blogspot.com/ and since I know the author of this blog, we decided to put our efforts together and both publish our articles only on this blog.

http://stuffilearnedonthecomputor.blogspot.com/ and http://newblogonstuff.blogspot.com/ will soon close down and I will try to find a way to archive the articles here.

I mainly blog about technology and I like to rant about politics.

My 1337 h4x0r name is Wahben ;p

How come no one told me women could do that!

Video provided by the stupid morons at justforlaughs.com

How come no one ever bothered to tell me women could do that? And more importantly, why aren’t more women whistling with their baginas (I’ll use bagina instead of the “v” word just so I don’t get barred by the almighty Christian Search Engine ). Imagine the possibilities, and endless joke opportunities! Why in the world would women not take full advantage of such an awesome skill. Imagine if men could whistle with their benises – we would be whistling 24/7 every day! Benis symphonies would be composed, choruses, Olympic events… I guess it’s just in the nature of women, always doing everything they can not to use their bagina’s!

The other question this video arouses is: how probable is it that she could actually learn to talk with it at some point? Whistling isn’t that far from talking, if parrots can do it why not baginas? Although interesting this possiblity is very very scary. Just imagine what would happen to the world if all of the sudden, women would have TWO talking orifices!

My head hurts like a bastard

I’m not sure if “like a bastard” is a generally accepted form of pain but I think it describes pretty well the feeling I have in my head. I feel like there is a little mining gnome inside my head chopping away at my skull trying to get into my sweet sweet neck. So, instead of finishing the work I have to do and going to sleep, what do I do, I procrastinate by writing more of this nonsense no one reads anyway. That’s right, this whole blog is only a form of procrastination!

I received tons of mail asking for me to post a picture, mainly from very very hot women… actually I didn’t but I find it easier to justify putting my picture on my blog by placing the blame on you, my millions of nonexistent devoted fans who wonder what I look like.

So to answer the question: To get a good picture, in your head, mix Hilary Swank and Alicia Keys, then turn that mix into an 1337 h4x0r and add a large cigar.

Goat that yells like a man

I know, judging solely on my writing I probably appear to be some sort of superior intellectual awesome artist… which I am… but I am also a man of the people and this is why I really enjoy this goat that yells like a man.

While we’re on the subject of human-goat creatures, I’m also a fan of Ann Coulter:

I found this picture of Ann at her best but I replaced her legs with prettier ones. Unfortunately, couldn’t do much about the face. Although I know she’s a horrible person, what kills me is that she’s probably having a lot of fun doing the terrible things she does. I wish one day I could be like her, get rid of all remains of my conscience so I can be mean to people and sleep well at night. On an unrelated subject, I’ve always wondered what a cancerous tumor would taste like. Not a human one because I wouldn’t eat human meat but a pig’s tumor or a beef one. I suspect it would be delicious only if you don’t know it’s a cancerous tumor. If I was to feed a cancerous tumor to someone, I would tell that person that the meat has been marinated – it would seem like the appropriate thing to do. On another unrelated subjects, I strongly believe TV remotes have too many buttons these days. I wish I could grow a goat that yells like a man… maybe one day.

How many kilometers of copper wire for a happy life

As most people, I own a few kilometers of copper wire. Despite regularly purchasing more copper wire I don’t seem to get happier. Am I doing something wrong?

This morning I positioned the plush toys in our room in sexual positions to see what my girlfriend would say. She didn’t say anything. It was so disappointing I had a seizure and lost part of my vision from the left eye. Actually I didn’t. Maybe next time – I’ve always wanted to have one of those creepy cloudy eyes.

I wish one day in my life, I’ll meet someone who’s first name is “Butros Butros”

Some time ago I found out somewhere in the world, there is actually a statue of Dick Chenney in drag. I like him better that way.

Stick figures cartoons IN HIGH DEFINITION

So I was about to watch this YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYnsfV5N2n8

The thumbnail made me suspect the video could be rather hilarious. Always careful as I am, I put away all sharp objects in my room so I could safely roll on the floor while laughing if need be. As I clicked play, I quickly started to laugh out loud and even laughed my ass off for a while but then I noticed something even funnier than the video itself! There was a pretentious little link on the bottom right suggesting to watch the video in “high quality”.

Stick figures in high quality heh? That’s rather humorous! Perhaps even ironic, although I was unsure if irony was the most appropriate rhetorical device in this case – Wikipedia couldn’t help find a figure of speech meaning “a link on a popular video website rendered seemingly irrelevant due to the obviously low quality of the associated video content” nevertheless it did teach me to use “rhetorical device” in a sentence. In any case, I thought this would be a perfect post for my uber trendy new blog. I was imagining myself juxtaposing two screenshots and asking, thong in cheek, “do you see the difference” and then cleverly pointing out, the thong still in my cheek, that one of the two identical screenshots was IN HIGH DEFINITION! that’s right! KABOOM!!!! Take that stupid Leonardo DiCaprio! I was already dreaming of the first page of digg and reddit, the new york times, a full pager on Forbes top10 hottest buns on the internet, maybe even a digg repost a few weeks later or perhaps… the unthinkable: a digg double post!

My plan was perfect and step one involved taking some screenshots. That’s when the sky fell on my head! THE HIGH DEF STICK FIGURES ACTUALLY LOOK BETTER!!!! Damn you Mr YouTube! I guess that’s why he’s a billion dollar video sharing website and I’m some guy writing a a blog while watching the Olympics. Lucky for me beach volley was on and I mustered enough will power to write this stupid post twice, yeah twice, don’t ask why but I did write this twice. I’m hoping it can serve as testimonial for my shattered dreams and lifelong unbroken chain of failures.

THE REGULAR YOUTUBE QUALITY:

THE RIDICULOUSLY BETTER LOOKING HIGH QUALITY:

How to Watch Live Olympics on Linux

CCTV2 (thanks to Steve):
sop://broker.sopcast.com:3912/15103

Here’s how you can watch the Olympics live on Linux:

Note: You can also use sopcast to watch the Olympics under Windows but I am not going to talk about Windows sopcast here as I don’t use it.

Step 1: Get VLC
Ubuntu:

sudo apt-get install vlc

Other distros; go to http://www.videolan.org/vlc/

Step 2: Get sopcast, extract it and go to its folder

wget http://download.sopcast.cn/download/sp-auth.tgz
tar xvzf sp-auth.tgz
cd sp-auth

Step 3: Launch p2p sopcast stream
Usage:
./sp-sc-auth sop://[sopcasturl] [shareport] [streamport] > /dev/null &
List of streams: http://www.sopcast.org/channel/
Full list in XML: http://www.sopcast.com/chlist.xml
More streams on Google
Note: Not all streams have audio
Note 2: If sp-auth is giving out an error, you might need to download the stdc++5 library link: http://www.sopcast.com/download/libstdcpp5.tgz
Example:

./sp-sc-auth sop://broker1.sopcast.com:3912/48608 3904 8904 > /dev/null &

Step 4: Fire-up VLC, open network stream http://localhost:[streamport]/tv.asf
Note: you might have to wait 20 seconds or so before it allows you to connect to the stream

Screenshots:

vlc-sopcast-screenshot

Ubuntu sopcast olympics screenshot